This last couple of years, like so many of us, has been a deep exploration, a stepping back into the places that kept me bound. There were many, many places that I had tucked away, almost entirely unconsciously. A beautiful agreement between the storyteller of the mind, and the wisdom keeper of the body. One might think these stories are not meant to be revisited, because truthfully, other than the residue, we often find a way not to be in contact with these places held under the wonder of our physiology. These places held so deeply, it’s possible one may never meet them. And this safekeeping masquerades as behaviours trying to dampen the feelings - perhaps in the form of smoking, drinking, eating, shopping, spending, exercising, scrolling. And sometimes, those feelings get through anyway. And sometimes life causes us to stop and look; a moment that has us question our life. A tragedy, a diagnosis, an accident. And these places will be tender, raw, vulnerable. These places held under pressure, initially will burst to the surface threatening the storyteller’s stability, maybe even sanity. Overwhelm of sadness, grief, anger, guilt, shame. Too much the storyteller says, too much. I can’t make sense of any of this. So the storyteller tries to go back to telling the same stories, but this time it does not work, this time the eyes and ears of that one who is listening, recognizes that the characters, the time, the place, has changed. There is a moment, when the wave breaks, and the shoreline becomes visible. And you remember, there is only here and now. Those stories that were threatening to pull you under, are with the wisdom keeper that’s gotten tired. They are ready to tell the story so that they can rest. Some of these wisdom keepers put into action from birth.
Opened Door…
What would it mean
To come into contact
With that which
Has been keeping favour
In agreement
For your safe keeping?
Do not reveal
On the door it says.
Do not reveal.
For herein
There is the pain,
The story and the
Impact.
Although some of it
Has leaked,
Some of it
Has informed
That which you have become
To spite that
Which cannot be felt,
Or to drive from that
Which cannot be felt.
That doorway
Locked tight,
And
So
Are you.
Well,
I opened the door.
Curiosity inspired.
And what happened?
Not what had been
Anticipated
Not what had been
Feared
Not what had been
Believed.
Instead
I met
The truth
That had long been wanting
To be told.
That truth
Was my truth
That had never been allowed,
And I felt it
Softened
Opened
Let go
Revealed
And I was alive,
Fully!